August 18, 2008

And then, she touched me.

With my new gym membership comes a load of classes; from a 20-minute ab class to a one-hour weightlifting class, to water aerobics.

I've promised myself that I would try out each of the classes at least once. So far, I've done Body Pump, Body Step, Bladder Body Attack, Body Jam, Core Conditioning, and stupid Yoga.

I swore I wouldn't ever do yoga. I tried a dvd once when I was pregnant and couldn't even make it through the breathing section in the beginning. Seriously? Do we NEED to breathe for five minutes before we move a muscle? I can't sit still for that long, let alone stop thinking about life for that long.

But, I made a promise to myself, so I went. We (Alyssa and I) were a few minutes late due to a backup with the daycare, but we made it. I'm not sure what we missed, but I immediately found myself with my feet on the floor, shoulder-width apart, trying to reach my hands to my toes. It was then I realized I am no spring chicken anymore, that's for sure!  Trying to renew my inner strength and peacefulness was harder than I thought.

Did I mention I had a cold too?  Yoga and a head cold don't really go together.  90% of the time, your head is hanging upside down.  So the quiet, tranquil, peaceful class is listening to hacking sounds of my cough and increasingly frequent sniffles from my side of the room.  Sexy.

Something tells me you're not supposed to stop in the middle of the "chair pose" to see just how NONflexible you are compared to the eighty-year-old next to you.  But that is just what I was doing. 

And I giggled.  A lot.  Everyone was very bendy.  I think I could fit the instructor in my duffle bag, if I wanted to. But, I am thinking by this point, she is looking for her voodoo doll to shut me up.

I made it through the whole class only stopping a few times.  I was sore and sweating.  Nobody else was.  Nice.

The best part was the last ten minutes of class, we had nap time.  No joke!We all had our colorful little mats, she turned off the lights and except for the music and my congestion, the room was silent.  I felt like a little three-year-old with A.D.D.  Everyone was following directions well.  They all had their bodies stretched out, eyes closed and arms relaxed.  How do I know?  Because I didn't.  I saw the instructor slithering around the room and I had my head popped up to see what was going on.  I told you I'm not good with quiet time!

I decided to at least TRY to join in and laid my head back down.  That's when it happened.

She touched me.

Out of nowhere, the instructor (or at least I think that's who it was) stood above me with oil on her fingers and rubbed my temples and forehead.

Seriously?  We get to be all stretchy AND get a facial!!!?  I was a little weirded out at first, until I smelled the sweet substance she lathered on my face.  I'm not sure what it was, but it instantly cleared up the snotty nose.  I wanted to ask her where she was an hour ago, but don't bite the hand that feeds you, right?

I completed the class, which is what I set out to do.  I honestly liked it WAY better than Body Step.  Granted, they are two totally different classes, but at least I opened my mind and tried something new and something I truly thought I was going to hate.  I might even go back.

Next time maybe she'll rub my shoulders.

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22 comments:

Uma and Wil said...

I was laughing so hard picturing your being the bad kid who wouldn't nap. My first time to a yoga class, the instructor kept repositioning my head and neck. FOR THE WHOLE HOUR AND A HALF. It eventually got better and more fun, and I did fall asleep at the end on a regular basis. Always wondered if I snored...

Becs said...

I am no yogi myself, mostly because I am so not bendy. Every so often its a nice change though.

Brenda said...

Where did my comment go? Oh Blogger!!!!

That is weird! But...any class that offers massage is worth it. Still, strange.

I guess since you were singled out as the one needing more of the teacher's attention you should be glad she didn't slither over there and put the sleep hold on you!

Jen said...

I love that video!! I had to put it on my blog.
Jen

Jen said...

I love that video!! I had to put it on my blog.
Jen

JAMIE'S CREW said...

I used to be bendy. Maybe I need to find that yoga class.............

Elizabeth said...

you are sooooo back...i love this post...it compares very well to your thoughts on jazzercising...sounds like a blast!

Joanne and Deric said...

Careful! I thought the same as you 6 years ago and now I am addicted to yoga... its so much harder than it looks. Even Deric huffs and puffs and can hardly move the next day....

bauer zoo said...

i just started trying yoga. my sister did it after having her kids and she looks as good as she did in high school. i tried it and had to stop 30 minutes into it because i had to deal with kids, but i was sweating like i'd never sweated before! and was sore for a couple of days! loved it!!!!

Pennies In My Pocket said...

I'm so jealous...I have NO desire to exercise at all. The most I get wading in our pool and a walk around the neighborhood with the baby. I totally admire those of you who go to a gym!

~melody~

Toni said...

You and I could not do yoga together! I get cracked up as well. One time at yoga class, hhaahaaa, the girl in front of me actually passed gas! I was sore the next day from holding in my laughter!

Ladybird and Sam said...

Too funny, my co-worker too yoga once and only once and started off on the wrong side so continued to be opposite of the class/instructor so she didn't do one side twice. The instructor stopped and said you are on the wrong side and she said I know and the instructor replied switch to the other side b/c you are messing up my karma!!!! Needless to say she didn't go back.

mdx3mom said...

I have never been that lucky in any Yoga or playoga calss I have tried! BUT what I did get was a musical experience. Now when I say musical I do not mean anything in a radio or CD, the muscial experience I mean tends to be a bit smelly also. EVERY time we had to strech one way or the other someone's bum rumbled.

Note for you to remember - make sure there is a lot of room between your mat and the mats around you!

Rebecca said...

I just KNEW you would like it... or at least decide to go back. Your post is hilarious... you are such a fun writer.. can you teach me?

So proud of you girl! Just wait until you have a class of inversions (if they do that there)!

Baby Kry said...

Okay that was the funniest blog. I was envisioning it the whole time. I too am not the Yoga material. Dave on the other hand amazes me. I USED to do body pump and loved it. Notcie the USED to in there :)

stormhuse said...

Enjoying your recent posts... glad you found your mojo again...

The Fortenberrys said...

Don't anybody listen to her....she did great! And she is more bendy than she lets on!!!

At least you didn't pass gas...

Michelle Herlihy said...

Please send Depends. Again.

Through Our Kitchen Window said...

YEAH for you!!! I'd like to think b/c you listened to all my great stories and that helped motivate you to go!!! Seriously though, we all feel ADD the first time we are laying there in the darkness (I think I actually fell asleep!)and maybe the first through sixth time....but it gets better, I promise!! Good for you that you got an instructor that does the oil at the end....way cool! It's usually lavender oil.

CJ, Laura, Madison and Morgan said...

lol...i don't know if going to yoga with you would be a good idea-- you know i would just giggle and egg you on. like when you're sitting in church, and you know you aren't supposed to be laughing, but that fact only makes you laugh even more, and then your dad reaches his reealllyy long arm down the back of the pew and thunks you in the back of the head. yeah, like that. :)

****** Carissa Anne ****** said...

The visuals this creates make me chuckle!

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