April 26, 2006

Not So Merry Maid Day

Alrighty - so today was technically a Merry Maid Day. However, it was extremely strange and well, just odd.

It started with me running around the house cleaning up the clutter getting ready for the maids. Is that normal? Do you really want a clean house BEFORE it gets cleaned? Normal or not, that is what I do. I felt like I was getting ready for prom or something; trying to shower, get all my belongings situated, sweep up a little dog hair here and there (don't want to REALLY gross them out!) and then they show up. It's not the same ladies as last time. It's not even the same ladies as the time before that. So, I take that as a hint, right? It's a young girl, and an older lady. By young girl, I mean . . . maybe 18 or 19? Already I'm remembering how I was when I was that age - not really wanting to clean house, as a matter of fact, I'd make any short cut I could while cleaning house. And that she did, but that is just a little bit of foreshadowing, we'll get there.

The older lady, she was a charm. Like a troll charm you keep on your keychain. Not really that bad, but her part of the story gets better. I'm just trying to set the stage for you. So, the younger girl decides to do the first floor and the older one gets the 2nd floor. Oh, oh, I forgot to mention what they were wearing. The 2nd floor lady - dressed like she should have been; Merry Maids shirt, jean shorts, all good. The 1st floor girl was wearing an Air Force t-shirt and shorts that when she bent over, you could see straight up to her Strawberry Shortcake underroos!!!

The first time the MM team came by, there were three ladies and it took them just over two hours. By the time they were finishing up and I came downstairs, one of the ladies (as you might remember in my past post) was on her hands and knees waxing my wood floors. I was like, "RIGHT ON!" The second time, I was pleased as well. There were two ladies and they took just around two hours. Now fast forward a tad . . . this time, done in 56 minutes flat. Excuse me? Sometimes it takes me 56 minutes to just clean my bathroom! The 2nd floor lady did catch a break, though - she had two rooms that she got to avoid because the hypothetical hurricane swept through them. I do a quick run through and I'm satisfied enough I suppose, so I'm about to pay the ladies and then it happens.

Here's how the conversation played out. FYI, 2nd Floor Lady speaks with a deep Southern draw - and NOT a sexy one.

2nd floor lady "I like your house, it's purty."
Rachel " thank you, I like it."
2nd floor lady " Sandy told me that this thang weren't real" (as she points to the tap on the wall)
Rachel " oh no, it's real, the kegs are in a kegerator in the garage."
2nd floor lady " Really? That's too bad, 'cause I was gonna say, I might should just have a beer since this is my last house."
Rachel chuckles a bit, but wonders...had I not been home, would she have tried to pour herself a cold one?
2nd floor lady " I wonder if I could do that there setup in my trailer? I mean, it sure would beat buying a couple forties ever' night."
Rachel " ha ha," she expresses in her best is-she-serious laugh.
2nd floor lady "thems are nice lights too" referring to the track lighting over our island.
Rachel " thank you. I like them too." thinking if I don't talk much, she will quit.
2nd floor lady " I might could do that in my trailer too. When my daughter and all her illegitimate babies move out, I'm a gonna fix my trailer UP! Are those battery operated, 'cause I dunno if my daddy will be able to figger out that wirin' stuff."

~ Roll Credits ~

That was a very strange MM visit. Although the house isn't like I would have liked it, I'll deal with it. The young girl didn't clean the couches, the bottom of the chair legs or even move the dog bed to sweep under it, but I'm just glad they left here sober. I would say "I would have done better," but that's not entirely true. I wouldn't have done better, because I wouldn't have done it!!! So, I'll deal.

So, that was my experience today. Not too exciting, but funny, nonetheless . . . at least I thought it was.


Jess said...

Maybe they only send the really good maids the first couple of visits to get you hooked :)

Anonymous said...

HA! That is hilarious. But, yet makes me nervous considering those folks come to your house when you're not home usually and I just wouldn't feel so comfortable about Country Carol haning out in MY house. No thanks. I guess Alexa wasn't so bad afterall.

Keppel said...

I hope you called the company and filed a complaint. That is what I would have done.