May 18, 2008

This thing called a "vaganza," we've got extra!

Yep, that's right. Today is the Keepin' It Real Extravaganza Part Deux.

So, this go 'round, we're supposed to talk about Stupid New Mom moments. But, seriously y'all, I've racked my brain and I can only come up with one that is even mildly blog-worthy. And you've already heard about my inability to predict the direction in which to fire a spewing child.

I KNOW there are many MANY more, but I have this thing called momnesia.

Now, what were we talking about? Oh yeah....

I'm not saying I'm perfect, by any means, but all the stories I have to tell don't seem stupid so much as .... well, I don't know...they just don't seem that interesting. Oh sure, I could talk about how dumb it was to wear 4" heels while pregnant, or how I should have slept when Lorelai slept as a newborn and DIDN'T, but....those aren't exactly riveting. If I was reading someone's blog about that, I'd stop reading.

So, I'm going to tell you about a FRIEND'S stupid mom moment.

Disclaimer: This is a copy/paste of her email. So, what is said here is pretty much stuff friends say to one another...not something she would blog about if she had a blog. Which, she doesn't. I'm still trying to get her to start one....after reading this following email, you'll see that she has enough to make an interesting blog.

And, the name of her 17-month old daughter has been changed to protect her from future school-bullying days.

Subject: Turd Catcher (seriously...if you are eating, just close down my page now)

So I took all of Holly's clothes off and let her walk around naked as I usually do in the morning so she can get some diaper-free time. A few minutes later I grabbed a diaper and was going to go put it on her when the TV caught my attention ... and I forgot for a second.

Then I looked over at her and I saw the face...the pooping face.

I said "no don't poop yet!" But it was too late. She was standing up and there was a 6-incher poking out from between her cheeks. I grabbed the diaper and caught the turd just in time before she pinched it off.

It was a great moment in my life as a mommy.

So, this is definitely a new mom moment. Granted her daughter is a little older, but when it's your first, it's always new!!!

Thanks for reading.

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Uma and Wil said...

Wow. Note to self: no naked baby around the house. I don't have anything to share just yet, mainly because my brain cells have all dissolved into breast milk and I no longer have any kind of memories.

mary said...

If you could wear 4'' heels when you were pregnant then good for you! Now as for your friends bum airing incident. Fabulous story.

Beth said...


I need to clean the coffee off my monitor now!

"...there 6-incher poking from between her cheeks..." That's classic!

Becs said...

Ha ha ha! I am totally picture an outfielder diving for and just catching a fly ball... in slow motion... classic (mommy) sportscenter moment :)

Brenda said...

I agree with Uma and Will. Diaper-free time is overrated.

And now that you've shared her moment...I have NO DOUBT she will want to go out and begin a blog!

My husband could not have handled that story. EW!

Also, I'd like a second opinion about you not having a stupid new mom moment. Um, JD? Could you e-mail me? Thanks!

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

What a proud moment for her. :)

Sarah G. said...

Your friend definitely needs a blog! Anyone that could make a poo e-mail that funny needs a blog!!

Good for you for sharing with us!!

Jay said...

Be thankful you caught it, we have found her little 'presents' sometimes down the hall... lovely.

Rebecca said...

Hilarious! Definitely blog-worthy.

~Sara~ said...

Um, wow... I have three boys and I have never experienced that "mess." I let Joel run around naked all the time now since he's potty training. Must be another reason to be thankful all of mine are boys?! lol I'm just thankful that's never happened at our house. ***Knock on wood***

Hilarious story though - thanks for sharing it!

Through Our Kitchen Window said...

OMG, that is the funniest, grossest story!! No-free diaper time in my house!!!

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Good for her! I have rarely caught them, but cleaned plenty out of carpet. fun.

Aliadelaide said...

ditto about the 4 inch heels, I'd wear jandals all year round if I could get away with it!
And you are so right about your friend needing a blog...good ghost writing!